Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Is it black or is it white?

We all went through it. We thought it was either black or white. It's not gray. Nothing seems to be in between. That was how my thought process was at one point. I didn't see any reason for compromise. Yet, it is funny how life teaches you a lesson and makes you look and notice the gray areas of life. It wasn't that simple.

I grew up knowing that I am going to be someone, someday. I had my focus and I was ready for it. The path was straight and nothing can topple me over. And then, in a flash - there it was. The big tumbling block ready to knock me off my naivete! Who said that someone or something is going to get in my way?

I met someone just recently. He is a fellow blogger (of course!). I noticed him lurking on one of my sites and he decided to leave me a comment after months of simply passing through. He was having trouble since my site was experiencing a lot of technical difficulties at the time..... (continued below...)

He sent me an email stating that he was trying to leave a comment and couldn't. I sent him an email back. That was when our correspondence started. The first YM conversation turned into a nightmare. He became furious at something I said that he just logged off completely without notice. I thought I would never hear from him again. The next time I was online, he contacted me again.

We talked and we joked. Before you knew it, we were texting. We were skyping. Cam on cam. It became a daily thing. Then, we fell in love. Or was it lust? Similar to how I used to think, I thought it is going to be a straight path. It isn't. Out of nowhere, for no valid (or should I say - practical) reason, he did it again. Logged off without saying goodbye. I tried to contact him but there was no response. Am I simply fooling myself? Is this for real? Where is this "virtual relationship" headed?

If you don't know me very well, one thing I hate the most is a person who does not confront the issue right then and there. If you need to voice out your hatred, tell me. If you're mad - tell me. But never, ever, hang up the phone or leave me hanging to wonder what I just did. NEVER.

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