Sunday, February 8, 2009

Steven Leese Chronicles - Email One

My name is Steven Leese. I was born on March 7, 1972. I am 6’2, 185 lbs with dirty blond hair and blue eyes. I was born in Potomac, MD and raised in Stafford, VA. I played baseball all my life (third-base mostly). I spent 4 year in Lincoln studying marketing and playing baseball – graduated in 1993. After school, I played semi-pro ball for 2½ years and finally quit when I landed a decent regular job. I’ve changed jobs several times over the last 10 years, but the constant in my life has been Jeremy, or Jerry as I call him. We have been acquainted since 1990 (an amazing 14 years), and a committed couple for 10 years. The following addresses how we met and a little about the guy I love.

Let Me Tell You Bout Jeremy

I. Off To School

In 1989 after my senior year at Deptford and a spectacular baseball season, I was awarded a full athletic scholarship to UNL. Even though I had never been away from home for more than a week, I was excited and eager about the new experience. The hardest part of leaving was not saying goodbye to my family, I knew they would always be a phone call away. But my teammates – that was a different story. Somehow I knew those goodbyes were mostly permanent. I consoled myself in the knowledge that my new teammates would be the same type of lovable arrogant knuckleheads, but with better ball skills. I could ramble forever about the move, but in the end it all adds up to a simple departure.

I arrived in Lincoln in early spring of 1990. The timing here was important because if I had seen their God-awful winter upon arrival, I might have jumped back on the plane and never returned. Coach Sanders picked me up personally, and we drove to campus and started all my processing. Three days later we had our first team meeting. There we were, a bunch of scared kids, many of us completely out of our elements. Allot of the guys had been recruited in Nebraska and the mid-west in general. A few of us however, were from the edges of the country. This is the key factor in my starting a friendship with a tough-little, second baseman named Jeremy.

II. First Encounter

Jeremy was an Oregon boy and had been raised to believe that the entire mid-west was an urban legend designed to horrify kids. After that first team meeting we went to the cafeteria for lunch. Jeremy sat down directly across from me and after a few minutes of posturing and pregnant silence he blurted out an introduction. I reciprocated and nice conversation ensued. His voice was much softer than you would think. At 5’10” and 175 lbs of solid muscle he was quite a specimen. The square jaw and deep-set eyes oozed masculinity, yet somehow this all seemed to be wrapped in a soft package. Part of that package was the tone of his voice. It was little strained and quite boyish. The closest I can reference it is to a young Fred Savage of the Wonder Years.

During this chat I realized that Jeremy was as attracted to me as I was to him. Don’t ask me to define how this was possible, but I was sure of it. Maybe it was the strong eye contact, or all the leg/foot touching that seemed constant – all I was sure of was the growth in my pants. Jeremy asked if I’d like to go check out Lincoln that evening. I jumped at the chance to learn about my new home (and hang out with this guy). That evening we jumped in a taxi and went to the N-Zone for beers. Since we were both in team shirts we got pretty good service. Nothing like the ass kissing the football players got, but for a Maryland boy it was pretty damned special.

Jeremy had the most wonderful smile, and he gave it freely and without reservation. He was not overly talkative, but carried his weight in an intelligent conversation. Whenever I spoke, he would lock his hazel gaze upon me with wrapped attention. He made me feel like I was the only person in the world. We talked about baseball and sports, girls and girlfriends, cars and movies, books and bikes, and about all the people staring at us. After two hours, two burgers, and six beers we talked about everything except the fact that we were leg locked under the table. I’m not sure how we ended up touching like that, but at the moment of realization we didn’t stop. It was kind of like we were touching like old friends, like it was normal.

We left the Zone and walked around town. The early evening was warm and we had nowhere special to be. You have to understand that we were boys and this time, and jocks at that. Our entire life had been competition and masturbation (sometimes the two came together)(no pun intended). My point here is that as we were talking about our times in the 40, Jeremy challenged me to a sprint race. I jump all over the chance to demonstrate my superiority. We decided on a 100-meter dash, give or take a few yards for eyeball measurement. On you marks, get set, go! At about 40 meters Jeremy had me by a foot. At 100 I had him by 3 feet. We laughed and patted each other on the back as was trotted a little to cool off. After a minute or two we sat down on a park bench. Jeremy carefully looked around, then leaned over and kissed me. I was a little startled, but offered no resistance. He sat back looking a little sheepish and asked if that was cool. I chuckled at the way he put it and said, “yes, very cool”. I leaned in and kissed him back, and I could feel the tension in his neck melt away.

III. About My Guy

That’s how we met and became a couple, but I want to talk about Jeremy himself. I had never met anyone like him and probably never will again. He is tough – the rough and tumble type and fiercely competitive. But when we were alone he is a babe in my arms. He loves me to wash his hair and we cuddle for hours. Sometimes the cuddling turns into wrestling and when it does, we put each other in the most grotesque holds. Then laugh to relax and make-out like bandits. We both love to massage one another, and he especially loves my foot massage. It became a special occasion kind of things, and they are always special.

Jeremy is convinced that God had created plaid flannel just for him (an Oregon thing I guess). He hates chocolate and likes me to sing him asleep. He is useless without a quick nap in the early evening and he prefers to pee sitting down in the early morning. He rarely wears underwear, but he always feels a little guilty of this because his Mom told him only savages go commando. Jeremy is an ice cream eating machine. Frankly he is an eating machine period, yet he never gains a pound. Part of that is his gym regimen, but genetics plays a big part as well. Rainy days make him sleepy and he has a strong dislike for the color orange.

When Jeremy and I first had sex, we quickly learned we were both new at it. Soon he decided that bottom was his forte’. I had only ever been a top and only wanted to be a top, so it was a perfect arrangement. Not to brag but my dick is eight inches long and fairly thick – or as Jeremy calls it, “perfect”. We were perfectly matched indeed, and that led to some awesome sex. Until then, my few sexual encounters with men had been wham, bam, thank you sir; a couple of one-shot wonders (without the wonder). I was beginning to think gay guys were more dysfunctional than anything else. Jeremy changed all that with thunder. We had marathon sex and we had it often. Six, seven, even eight orgasms between us.

Jeremy loves classical music and speed metal, and anything in-between bores him (except REM, we both love them). He loves to draw, and has a winged-man series that is whimsical and awesome. When he talks on a subject he loves he bounces, wiggles his toes, and giggles like a seven year old. He loves to touch and be touched – a hand on the back of his neck or holding hands is all it takes. He is mischievous – loves to tease and prod which gets him in trouble all the time.

IV. Inevitable Change

For four collegiate years Jeremy was my secret lover, and I was completely in love with him. We arranged to be roommates at school and on the road, and no one ever knew about us. To the world we were the best of friends – and world was right, if not shortsighted.

He is a man of many moods, but he was usually even-tempered. So when he started acting oddly about halfway through our senior year, I knew something was wrong. Finally I asked what was the matter. It took coaxing, but he told me he was scared to graduate; that we would not be together. Being the knucklehead that I am, I had never thought about it. When I did it made me sick. Three and a half years of roommate, teammate, and lover was coming to a close. We stood in the shower holding each other for two hours. This was going the hurt.

Pleasure, Pain, and…Happy Endings

The last six months of our time in Lincoln were as emotionally charged as anything I have ever known. To begin with, the realization of my inevitable separation from the man I loved started to wear on me. The team was in a race for a College World Series berth, and I was batting 6th in the line-up. Jeremy was a full-time reliever by then and the pressure to perform down the stretch was intense. Add to that, my Mom had been diagnosed with cervical cancer. Things were not good.

The baseball season fizzled by the end of May - we were out of it. Sure we had to play out the season, but the pressure was off and frankly I think those final games were the most enjoyable of the year. We went out and played baseball like kids again, it was back to being the game we all fell in love with. This was a blessing because just like that, baseball went from being part of the problem to being part of the solution. Sometimes I think God had a hand in that. If God was on the job he certainly showed up for my Mom.

She went in for surgery in May. I flew home to be with her for two days prior to the surgery and it was then that I told her I was gay. She just smiled and asked was it Jeremy. I guess she knew all the time and we happy when I felt it important enough to tell her. That was a pleasant relief, but we still had the surgery to deal with. To make a long and happy story short, the surgery was a success and the recovery was quick and permanent. My Dad and I talked everyday on the phone and he told me she was running him ragged just a week after release from the hospital. My Mom used the down time to plan the upcoming family picnic. This picnic was going to be a turning point in my life, but I’ll get back to that.

As much I as knew life was smiling upon me in so many ways, I was really down and out about graduation. As that time approached, Jeremy and I spent allot of time talking and planning and hugging and realizing separation was inevitable. Jeremy had a graduate appointment to the University of Miami’s physical therapy program. I got drafted by the Kansas City Royals and was assigned to their minor league team, the Omaha Royals. I’m not going to bore you with the details of the days before we separated for the first time. We loved like lovers and cried like babies, but we did what we had to do. After about two months, Jeremy flew to Maryland for my family’s picnic. It was time to come out.

I mentioned that I had told my Mom about he and I. She had not spread the word; she felt it was my task to bear. So I did. I told my Dad, my sister, and my brothers. Guess what, the world didn’t stop spinning. No one was happy about it, but they loved me and liked Jeremy and realized it was my life, not theirs. Of course this was the cherry on top because the best part was seeing my baby again. The scary part was I was even more in love with him. He looked so good and we had some great times together in that weekend. It was then that I knew I had to be with him. I didn’t know how, but I was going to be with this man.

For the next two years we had the ultimate long-distance relationship. Over the entire time Jeremy went out with only one guy, and believe it or not, that was at my urging. They went out twice and nothing happened. Jeremy didn’t have the stomach for it. I didn’t even get that far. Every orgasm I had in all the time was hand delivered. Suffice it to say that we became masters of masturbation and phone sex. We got together about every three months over the stretch, but that was all we had. At some point during his school, Jeremy fell in love with Miami and realized he was going to be very sought after in the area upon graduation. As a matter of fact he had a good job lined up already.

You’ll have to pardon my vagueness in the areas of employment; I’d rather not disclose where we work in this forum. I finally gave up on being a pro baseball player. My coach told my I needed to be more patient, but I was fed up with it. I had applied for a marketing position and was picked up quickly by a company in Baltimore. The company had two offices in the Miami area, and I aggressively went about getting transferred to one of them as soon as I started. I did this without telling Jeremy; I didn’t want to get his hopes up. After his graduation, Jeremy went to work in August. I flew down for the weekend prior to him starting. He told me he loved me and asked if we could live together if he moved to Baltimore. Wow! I had to say yes, but I asked that he not do that for me. He needed to take this job and I could not allow that kind of sacrifice for me. Of course I was pretty sure I had landed a position in Miami, but I was not sure enough to tell him.

I went back home, Jeremy kept his job, and I worked the transfer. Two months later, I had a position in Miami. It came with a small deduction in pay but that was not an issue. I was so happy that it hurt. I called Jeremy and told I’d be in town in two weeks for a visit. Happy as he was, he had no idea what I had done. When I arrived we went straight to the bed and made mad love. This was going to be amazing and I had to play it right. After about 5 hours in bed, we made a little dinner and Jeremy asked the time of my departure flight. This was it! I said. “ I do not have a return flight babe, I’m here to stay”. He looked and me and grinned. I looked at him and didn’t grin. Jeremy’s bottom lip tightened a little and he said, “That’s not funny”. I said, “I’m not laughing”. He put down his fork and just stared at me. I said, “I’m here to stay babe”.

I hope you enjoyed reading about Jeremy and I. Just one more thing, I never harp on negative details, but my life has had a few dips with all the up. I don't want to give the impression that I am perfect. Just a guy that got lucky - guess I'm living

Steve Leese

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