Thursday, April 9, 2009

I guess it's over now...

I remember my post way back in October where I was beginning to fall for my personal trainer. Yup! Josh is his name - do you remember? Well, I heeded Hazen's advice to stay away. His exact words were:

He might flirt with you, even kiss you. He might even allow you to give him oral sex. He might even top you. But he will still be straight. So don't fall in love, 'cause he can't reciprocate. You will just end up heartbroken.

Besides he is your trainer, and doing anything more than having a coffee together is prone to problems.

He was right and I listened to him. What does Josh do? He continued to send me text messages, and contact me on Facebook. I remained unphased because my focus shifted to someone else. Thank goodness for that.

Until recently, he insisted that he visit me at home. He's got some "big news" to tell me and he cannot tell me over the phone. Hmmmm..

....continued below....

I am very busy and I really, and honestly don't have time to hang out and talk all through the night knowing that there really isn't a future there - - whether it's sex or otherwise. So, I continued to decline until one day - he called me and told me that he was coming over regardless. He was supposed to stay for a half hour. He arrived at quarter 'til nine, and didn't leave here until three o'clock in the morning. Why? Well....

Anyway, it's always been like that. He shows me the interest when I'm not interested. But the moment I show some reciprocation, he pulls away. Come on. I am not nineteen years old anymore. I don't play those games.

The big news? He's moving to California. He's got great plans for himself and I do wish him well. I asked him if he knew that I liked him at one point. He said, "Yes." Did he know that I wanted him in "that" way? "Yes.", he answered. So, why lead me on only to not go through with it? I don't know. That will remain a mystery.

He's moving away - - and I'm moving on. That's just how life is.

Ending this post with this great artist.. Jay Brannan... "Can't Have It All"

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